24 Hours of Freedom
What would you do with 24 hours of theoretical freedom and not caring what others think?
For me stuff gets weird involving hair dye and thrift shopping.
Sleep in until 9 because your adult body literally can't sleep more than this without being productive. Like a productivity robot. Both a blessing and a curse.
Do yoga because it makes me feel better and facilitates giving zero fucks.
Run a hand over your legs checking for stubble. You will probably find some but shaving is not happening today.
Eat brunch somewhere prohibitively expensive or really good. Make small talk with people at the bar because you probably won't ever see them again and you have a pleasant buzz from drinking mimosas. Unbutton the top button of your high rise jeans because it needs to happen.
Call my ex at brunch so I sound busy and tell him to stop leaving creepy voicemails every two years and trying to be “friends” on Facebook. Passive aggressively add his Dad and other family members on Facebook, again.
Take a walk less to burn calories and more to slow down and take in the scenery.
Eat loud snacks at the Kimbell art museum. Also look at the art. Only order lemonade, wine and dessert from their cafe to confuse and confound fellow patrons. Revisit the places where you took your wedding pictures outside and smile.
Go platinum blonde because it will look cool and maybe cover up some grays. Make sure to leave two to three inches of virgin hair unsullied near your part to give the illusion that this expensive and sometimes painful procedure is already growing out. Immediately dye it pink because why not.
Join Twitter only to harass the current president and end up on that elusive blocked list. Rejoice and never log on again.
Go thrift shopping until you find that elusive vintage but still in great shape leather jacket that only shows up in your fashion fever dreams. Haggle it down to a slightly reasonable price even though you and the person behind the counter both know you aren't leaving without it. Walk out wearing it even though it's probably too hot outside.
Go through the drive thru with no shame.
Binge watch on Netflix or HBO because your body is incapable of doing anything else.
Shower when you can heave your body into standing and walking short distances.
Crash at midnight which is the only cool time to go to sleep.