Security vs Creativity
Contained in every movie I saw growing up, the idealized careers, where people made money and had fun, were creative. All the rest were boring and bland, pretty easy to do when any office looks boring, and weren't fulfilling to these pretend office workers. Even in these fictional universes, I could tell most parents weren't having fun at their jobs and my existence, as a kid, partially to blame for them needing money. Also living in a capitalist society but I wasn't that deep of a thinker in my Disney years.
These elusive unicorn jobs, some which I didn’t realize were real, stretched further from reach as I grew closer to considering a career and what that meant to me. I knew what I liked to do, reading, writing, not talking during group discussions, but had no idea what kind of job needs these skills. Almost all do in some capacity. Being able to read is important with writing being a close second. But I didn't think I was using these skills in full capacity in my draining retail job reading tags, writing hold slips and typing personal information into the credit card application at the register.
I never felt creative enough to get a typical creative job while not boring enough to settle in to a boring job I would never aspire beyond. My major didn't help, psychology, which gave me a taste inside the individual mind and its motivations. I didn't take many creative classes but for the few in my degree plan I went all out. Photojournalism was my favorite even though I had no desire to be a journalist. This class was the closest I came to peeking at what a more creative career might look like. This black and white binary thinking, mostly caused by my practicality and the recession, kept me from pursuing what I thought was the impossible unicorn embodied in those films from decades ago. A creative career that was fun, fulfilling and still hard work.
In my current day to day, I've found a happy medium that works for me balancing creativity and security. It won't last forever but it’s better than most situations. I have a full time job that is fairly boring, predictable and follows a stringent routine. Normal hours, monotonous tasks with benefits that aren't stellar but are better than anything I've had before. PTO and health insurance, which used to be pipe dreams, are mine.
Even during our busy season I'm not that busy. Which means I can write blog posts, make content and find pictures for graphic design projects or blog posts during the day. During the evenings and weekends I create in every sense of the word. Graphic design and writing mostly but sometimes other creative pursuits slip in too. I recently started writing poetry because, why not? I have the best of both worlds. Job security and money with creative freedom outside of work. I couldn't have pulled this off several years ago at the same company because my days were filled with busy work. Now I've climbed the ranks enough to have autonomy for these side projects without getting behind.
It is the ultimate tale of opposites and the grass is always greener. When I was struggling to find a full time job after college I had all the time in the world to read, write and create. Did I utilize it? Sometimes but not as much as I could have. Currently, I have the security and savings while lacking countless hours of extra time to squeeze out for creative pursuits.
I would like a new job, preferably one on the creative side, eventually. For now being an artist during the evening and weekends and whenever else I can squeeze it in suits me. I know very few people who have the best of both worlds in the sense of being creatively fulfilled and not having to worry about money. I think everyone can make it work in their own lives even if it seems fruitless when you can't commit as much time as you like to whatever your creative pursuits are. Carve out the time and keep creating.
